“I must say at this point in my life I have learned to NOW ride the rollercoaster of life without having a nervous feeling when anticipating the long drops or become anxious while turning with the speedy curves, nor fearful, but now surprised and grateful of the sudden stops. Shoot, sometimes redirecting and refocusing is a must.”
Taren Yolanda
As life keeps moving effortless pass me and as my age is maturing, I have learned that time is of great essence. I wasted a lot of time putting limits on myself and always being the one always there for everyone else and not quite being there for myself as much as I should have been throughout the years, well at least until my mid 30’s. Yes, it took a long time, and when a million epiphanies came to fruition in my late 30’s. I finally understood why I had to go through the many trials and tribulations I faced, but not only the WHY but what I could have done differently over my life if I knew better. Would I have been in a different point, place, relationship, career, city, or even country than I am now? Though, everyone experience is different in life, this may provide guidance to you or simply cause you to reflect on your life so far.
Which brings me to this point of advice I would give myself through the different stages of life, 18, 25, 35 and 40.
When we are children, we barely understand life and what is going on around us. It is not until we get older maybe the age of 18, when we know that some of the things that we experienced as children we know they were confusing or things were not what they seemed, however, at that exact point we still lack understanding. With that insight, now looking back over my life I would tell my 18-year-old self to follow your own path and ask a lot of questions. If you do not ask you will not know. No, you are not going to have your whole life figured out and you won’t anytime soon. Furthermore, I would also tell myself to have more fun and live life carefree but careful, to include not caring what people think of you and to always keep God first and not be so free to give away your love and your time because the ending result will not benefit you but in fact may harm you, on second thought, it may benefit you in some weird kind of way, just keep living you’ll understand what I am saying one day. Yeah, that’s a little deep for an 18-year-old but, the sooner you know the better the outcome.
At the age of 25, I thought I was living the life had my own apartment, had a decent job and my friends and family were all in my life and we were living it up, or so I thought. Apart from this, I would tell myself at 25 that life is going to get complicated, but you must stay the course and not waver. In a few years family won’t be the same and friends will change. The most important lesson is that communication in all relationships is the key. This is the time to start caring and keeping your credit to par, because you are going to need it later when you are ready to settle down, buy a house, get married and start a family, travel or start a business. Not to mention, I would also warn myself that life is not at all how you pictured it would be when you wrote in your senior book at 18, that you would be married to your high school sweetheart, working your dream job, living a care free life in a mansion, with a pool, a dog and a child, well at least not for most, and then your 30’s creep on up and you are really on an emotional rollercoaster without the popcorn, the cotton candy and the prizes.
Nevertheless, when those mid 30’s arrives somewhere at about 35 years of living life, you learn and realize that it’s quite alright for people to go their separate ways and for you to move on in life without them. The word of advice I would give myself at this age would be “Everyone is not meant to go with you where you are going.” Without a doubt, this is also the age where you begin to trust yourself a little more, something that will take time and come more naturally as you mature. Even so, this is the age where you stop giving a darn about what other people think of you, yes, family included. Moreover, you will realize that not everyone will understand but you have to do what you feel is right for you and start moving to your own beat, at your own pace and making boss moves that benefit you and will ultimately guide you to move toward your own happiness, by pushing forward even harder with more insight, awareness of who you truly are and that alone will lead you to your true purpose in life.
Meanwhile, when you have finally found yourself and are enjoying where you have journeyed in your life so far, feel settled and then BOOM, BAM, here comes that raging, roaring and demanding age of 40. OOH CHILD! This is the point where I am at now, well plus give or take, but hey, I don’t feel any different well maybe my bedtime is a little earlier, I may hear a bone pop or two and my knees may even hurt sporadically, although technically, I mean it’s still the same as being 40. Ok, back to the point at hand, this is especially the time in life where I feel the doors of time closing on me and my then little cousins are now adults getting married, having babies and I have yet to do either one. Well, does engaged almost count, not really huh. I must say at this point in my life I have learned to NOW ride the rollercoaster of life without having a nervous feeling when anticipating the long drops or becoming anxious while turning with the speedy curves, nor fearful but now surprised and grateful of the sudden stops. Shoot, sometime redirecting and refocusing is a must.
Moreover, at this age, it’s all about adjusting to the curves and accepting them for what they are and knowing that it’s all a part of the process. Even though, time is moving quicker than ever and is of essence as it always has been, I still must keep putting one foot in front of the other foot, maybe tripping a time or two, still taking life one day at a time knowing that whatever I am purposing to do it will come in due time and when the time is right. Certainly, it says in Isaiah 60:22, “When the time is right, I the Lord will make it happen.” Therefore, I will continue to trust God as it says in Proverbs 3:5-7,” Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” To be honest, these two passages of scripture will continuously resonate throughout all stages of life. I keep them always etched in my mind and heart.
So, with that said I wake up every day asking God to let his will be done, not mine and that my will aligns with his will for my life. What is meant for me will always come as it should…that’s exactly why I am going to keep fighting, learning, growing, walking, running and sprinting for all the things I want in my life. Now all I must do is master the part about keeping my mouth closed, Ha…I’m getting there and will eventually conquer that too, I guess when the time is right. It’s so hard though!
To wrap things up I will never say that all the experiences that I have had up until now were in vain and I wished they didn’t happen. That is certainly not true at all, because without them I couldn’t even bring together these lessons to share. However, if I would have known this, I would maybe had experienced less heart break, learned to love myself earlier in my life and created realistic standards and boundaries for myself and others that entered, left or stayed in my life to abide by. Time is the biggest lesson of life. Time teaches you about yourself, your loved ones, your friends, your relationships and just about people in general. Time heals all wounds and knowing that throughout life we may never receive the answer to the hard questions, also learning that we don’t need the answers. All we have to do is LIVE, challenging and proving self-wrong, being concern only with competing, loving, nurturing, being patience and persistent with self,
Life will always give you what you need. It just all depends on how you learn from the lessons, how you handle it, how you react to it, and deciding when you have personally had enough. The most important lesson to learn from life is to keep moving even when you must take an unfamiliar path, when you are hurt, confused, lonely, undecisive, scared and just do not know which way to go, do not stop, keep going and keep looking forward, let the past go and continue living life with lessons learned, utilizing wisdom and growth as your guide with no regrets.
At the end of it all knowing that whatever is meant for you will always find you and you will not have to search hard for it, whatever “it” is. Stay the course protect your heart and be wise, always remembering that life is about growth which leads to change. Do not fear change embrace it with open arms that will be your key to survival and enjoying and accepting life for what it is or what it isn’t. You hold the key to your destiny, even when it doesn’t fit, you will eventually find the door that it matches and will open without a difficulty, just keep living and being true to yourself. Life happens as it is meant to happen. YOU GOT THIS! You know why because you are ZOETIC AND REVAMPED (ALIVE/LIVING and IMPROVED) with each new day.
This is me, enjoying the moment and appreciating the extension of grace and mercy, that God always grants me with in my life!
“Live life the best way you know how, on your own terms. The people that are meant to stay will stay and whatever God has for you will always reveal itself when time permits, continue to trust God, trust yourself, love more than hate, forget the haters, and get rid of expectations.” ~Taren Yolanda
Signing out,
Yours truly,
Taren Yolanda
